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Thursday 27 February 2014

Contracts of a Muslim Marriage

In the Islamic Law, marriage is an ‘aqd, a contract. The components of this contract are as follows:
In Islam the process of proposal by a man to a woman for her hand in marriage, or for that matter, to her family, is encouraged. Islam considers this natural, and recommends it as an act of respectability and dignity for women.
And the intending husband is asked to offer a Mahr to the bride.
The Quran says, And give women their Mahr as a free gift, but if they of themselves be pleased to give up to you a portion of it, then eat it with enjoyment and with wholesome result.” (Surah an-Nisaa’, 4:4)
The following points are worthy of consideration:
a) Mahr must be agreed upon by the marrying partners themselves, not by parents.
b) Mahr is her right, to which her husband remains indebted.
c) It is a free gift and not her price.
The Mahr may be cash, kind or non-material (like training or teaching something). It can be paid up front or can be in form of promise to pay upon demands decided prior to the solemnization of marriage.1 Moajjal(immediate), Muwajjal and Indat-talab (on demand).
However, it is much recommended to pay it before or at the time of Nikah itself.
According to Shariah, the wife-to-be says, ‘An Kah’tu nafsaka a’lal mah’ril ma’loom’
“I have given away myself in Nikah to you, on the agreed Mahr.”
Immediately, the man (bridegroom) says, ‘Qabiltun Nikaha’.
“I have accepted the Nikah.”
With these pronouncements, they become husband and wife.
If the marrying partners are not able to recite the formula in Arabic, one or two persons or priests2 are appointed and authorized to officiate. One who represents the bride would first seek her explicit consent to officiate on her behalf, and so would the other who acts on behalf of the groom. Naturally, there would be a slight variation in the pronouncements, because the persons reciting them are appointees. A person who represents the bride would initiate by saying, “Ankah’tu muwakkilati muwakkilaka a’lal mah’ril ma’loom.”
“I give away in Nikah the woman who has thus appointed and authorized me, to the man who has authorized you, on an agreed Mahr.”
The groom’s representative would respond, “Qabiltunnikaaha limuwakkili a’lal mah’ril ma’loom.”
“I accept the Nikah on behalf of the one who has appointed me, on the agreed Mahr.”
It is mustahab to recite a brief discourse or Khutba before the Nikah formula is enunciated. In this Khutba, Allah is praised for His Wisdom in regulating the lawful process of procreation, and then the traditions from the Prophet (S) are also recited.
Though basically marriage is allowed at all times, there are some days on which marriage is not recommended; some of these are based on ahadith and some on cultural, historical reasons.
Generally, we can categorize these days into three: (a) There are some ahadith which say that it is makruh (not recommended) to have a marriage ceremony on the days when the moon is in the constellation of Scorpio (this is known as al-qamar fil aqrab or qamar dar aqrab), during the last two or three days of the lunar months, and on Wednesdays. (b) There are certain days of the Islamic calendar which have become associated with the early events of the Islamic history; for example, the 10th of Muharram is the day of mourning for the massacre at Karbala or the day of the Prophet (S)’s death in Safar, etc. Since such days are commemorated by the Muslims as days of mourning, it is socially and, to some extent, religiously not recommended to have a marriage ceremony on such days.3
The Shi’ah Ithna Ashari (Twelver Shi’ahs), especially in India and Pakistan, rarely perform marriage ceremony between the 1st of Muharram and the 8th of Rabi al-Awwal as this period includes the mourning days ofMuharram culminating in the martyrdom of Imam Askari (A.S.). The 9th Rabi al-Awwal is celebrated as Eid-e-Zahra.
If there is a need, however, Nikah can be performed at any time.
The girl’s consent is necessary and has to be taken by her representative, directly.
In case of a virgin/spinster the father’s or the grandfather’s permission is also necessary. However if the permission is unreasonably withheld under some conditions or the girl has no father/paternal grandfather it is not necessary.
However, a woman who is not a virgin does not require any permission in case of remarriage.
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Thursday 20 February 2014

What is a Wali (Legal Guardian)?

What is a Wali (Legal Guardian)?
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In Islam, a Wali is a person who is responsible for the bride's life before she is married. As a Wali, it is also his duty to ensure that the proposed groom is a reliable and a trustworthy person who will continue to carry on his role and responsibility towards the bride after her marriage.

Who is a Wali?
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Listed in the proper hierarchy, a Wali can be the bride's birth father, her paternal grandfather, brother, paternal uncle or any male relative from her paternal side. If there is none available, then the Kadi will assume the role as a Wali.

How to determine a lawful Wali?
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You are conceived after your parent's marriage;
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Your parent's marriage is lawful in accordance with Syariah Law; and
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You are not an adopted child.

Conditions to become a Wali
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Generally, a Wali must be

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a Muslim;
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of sane mind;
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have attained the age of puberty.

What is the role of the Wali?
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The Wali must consent to the marriage. The Wali must accompany the bride when she makes her registration at the Registry.

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The role that a Wali plays in your marriage is of great importance. Hence, a Wali, who is found not to be lawful for the solemnization may render a marriage null and void. The consequence of an annulment is undesirable from both the Syariah and civil point of view. For one, the legality of the child that will be borne from the intended marriage that the couple is undergoing is dubious and this will have a bearing on future inheritance matters.
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In any event the Wali's consent is falsely declared, the Registry has the right to reject this marriage application and all bookings made in lieu to this application will be cancelled.

What is a Maskahwin (Mahar)?
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Mahar is a gift given by the groom to the bride after the solemnization ceremony. It symbolises the beginning of a husband's responsibility towards his wife in fulfilling her everyday needs.

Mahar can be in cash or benefits, such as gold, silver or money. Mahar is the bride's right and she owns the Mahar. Thus, she has the will to dispose of it as she wishes.

The current minimum rate for the Mahar in Singapore is S$100 cash.

What is a Hantaran (Marriage Expenses)?
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A Hantaran is a customary gift, usually in cash, given by the groom to his bride's family for the Walimah. The Hantaran rate must be agreed upon by both parties.

What is a Walimah?
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A Walimah is a feast given after the marriage by the couple, which is a sunnah. Walimah is a celebration of the newly formed family and for announcing that this couple is now husband and wife.

During the celebration, relatives and friends of both the husband and the wife, as well as community members are invited to get acquainted with each other and begin a nice relationship through the marriage.


Conditions to become a Witness
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Generally, a Witness must be

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male Muslim;
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above 21 years old.


Where does a Witness come in a Marriage Registration?
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Two witnesses are needed for your solemnization. The details of the witnesses, that is their names as in their NRIC and their NRIC numbers, are needed at the point of filing the application for registration of marriage. They do not need to be present when you file your application. However, their presence is needed on the day of solemnization.
Kadi & Naib Kadi
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ROMM has 4 Kadis and 20 Naib Kadis under its purview. They are officials of religious standings, and are appointed by the President of Singapore to solemnize Muslim marriages.

Kadi
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The Registry of Muslim Marriages has under its purview 4 Kadis. They are empowered to consider marriage applications and solemnize marriages with or without a Wali.
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Ruling on Marriage

All of the scholars are in agreement that marriage is something recommended (Mustahab) and called for in Islam. Some took it to the level of obligatory (wajib) for those with the ability based on the Prophet's statement:
"Whoever has the ability should marry for it is better in lowering the gaze and guarding one's chastity. Whoever is not able, let him fast for it is for him a restraint." [Al-Bukhari]
Without doubt, marriage is part of the social agenda of Islam and the objective it to maximize marriage and to combat "single-hood" as much as possible. This means that if marriage begins decreasing for whatever reason such as exorbitant dowries, economic injustice, etc. then these evils must be combated in defence of marriage. If polygamy is neglected and not done sufficiently, this will create a number of single women and a situation which requires social effort to correct. Likewise, if polygamy is done to excess by some individuals, it will produce an excess of single men another situation which must be corrected. The raising of children must be done in such a way which promotes marriage and raises both men and women knowledgeable of their roles and duties within the family. All of this can be found in Allah's command to the Muslims as a whole to maximize marriage among us:
"And marry off the single among you and the righteous ones among your male and female slaves. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounties and Allah is expansive, knowing." [Noble Quran 24:32]

Benefits of Marriage
Children
The love of Allah is sought in seeking to have children. Allah has decreed this as the means by which mankind generally and this Ummah specifically will continue to exist. Allah said:
"Mothers nurse their babies two whole years for those who wish to complete their nursing. Upon the one for whom the baby was born is her food and her clothing in equitable and proper terms. No soul will be unburdened beyond its ability. No mother may be harmed on account of her child nor any father by his child and the heir is chargeable in the same way. If the two [parents] decide on weaning by mutual agreement and consultation, there is no blame on them. And if you decide on a wet-nurse for your children, there is no blame on you provided you pay what you offered equitably and properly. And fear Allah and know that Allah sees well all that you do." [Noble Quran 2:233]
The love of Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) is also sought in seeking to have children because he (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
"Marry the loving and the fertile for I will outdo the nations with you [r numbers]. (In another version: "...for I will outdo the prophets with you [r numbers] on Qiyama.")
With seeking children is also the seeking of the great blessing of a righteous offspring who makes do'a for you after your death or the intercession of a child who dies before reaching adulthood.
"When a person dies, his works come to an end (are cut off) except from three sources: except from an ongoing charity which he established or knowledge from which benefit is taken or a righteous offspring who makes du'a for him."
From Abi Sa'id that the women said to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), "Reserve for us a day." So he (peace and blessings be upon him) preached to them and said, "Any woman who had three children die will find them to be a protection for them from the fire." One woman asked, "And two?" He (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "And two [as well]."
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Tuesday 28 January 2014

Marriage Process ( Must Read !!! )



Download this pdf file to your computer, open pdf file in your Adobe Reader and you can manoeuvre around the active links in the respective info maps. It even have both the English and Malay version..Try it!!!

"CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD"  



For those who have no PDF reader at your current computer , u can install ADOBE READER from here.




For the pre-marriage courses you can register here.


A summary of the locations where the courses held is here.

Big thanks to Creative Commons who has made this FAQ tool available to the public. 

Reference Website:
https://spmc.sapphirepearl.com.sg/

License Code
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/sg/legalcode

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Monday 27 January 2014

A Malay's Perspective of "Engagement to Solemnisation"

Malay weddings are grand affairs where the couple is treated as royalty. Weddings are usually spread out over several days, starting with the Henna-staining ceremony, followed by the Nikah ceremony and ending with the Bersanding, which is the actual wedding day. 



Engagement

As soon as a man announces his wish to marry, an engagement date will be set when families of the couple meet to discuss the wedding plans.

Henna-staining ceremony

The excitement begins three days before the wedding. On this day, the bride-to-be shows off her trousseau, changing five to six times throughout the day, as a sign of good luck. Her friends and relatives are invited to view her wardrobe. A day after this, the wedding ceremony proper starts with the henna-staining ceremony. During this ceremony, yellowish oil, extracted from henna leaves is applied on the fingertips of the couple by friends and relatives. It announces their forthcoming unity.

Nikah ceremony

Religious solemnisation of the marriage takes place on the wedding eve. Known as the Nikahceremony rite is required by both the Islamic law and the civic law to legalise a Malay wedding.

Bersanding

The actual wedding day is the Bersanding. This literally means the "sitting together of the bride and bridegroom on the bridal couch". Known as the Pelamin, this couch is the centrepiece of the whole ceremony, and two pelamins are required - one in the bride's house and the other in the bridegroom's. As the Bersanding ceremony customarily takes place in the afternoon, the bridegroom entertains guests at his own house in the morning. At the agreed time, he is escorted in a procession with ahadrah or kompang band (male music group) to his bride's house. On arrival, he has to pay a 'tax' in the form of money to the girl's family before he enters each door leading to the pelamin to take his place besides his bride. An astakona, a tiered pedestalled tray, is also placed in front of the pelamin. Each tier contains a mound of cooked yellow rice studded all over with red-dyed eggs. This tray will later be presented to the emak pengantin (a close friend or relative chosen to be the matron of honour for the marriage) as an act of appreciation for her help during the ceremonies. The groom then sits with the bride on the pelamin. After this the couple returns to the bridegroom's house in a procession. They are normally accompanied by the hadrah band, with men beating a rhythm on their timbrels and reading verses from the Koran. The music proclaims their marriage to the world. At the bridegroom's house, the Bersanding ceremony is repeated for the benefit of the bridegroom's kinfolk. This is followed by feasting and merry-making, called the kenduri. The wedding celebrations come to an end when the bridal pair returns home to the bride's house to pay respects to her family.

Reference

AuthorRakunathan Narayanan, 2002
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Sunday 26 January 2014

What should you do before 12 months to settle down.....

12+ Months Before


  • Begin to envision your ceremony. Should it be long and symbolic? Short and sweet? Do you want to include all the rituals or just the highlights?

  • Pick wedding date and time preferences. Muslims favor weddings during the month of Shawwal and avoid weddings during the sacred months of Muharram and Ramadan. Sunday is favored for weddings because it's the start of the week. The Islamic year follows a lunar calendar, so corresponding Gregorian dates vary from year to year -- consult your local mosque to determine when dates will fall.

  • Choose a location and officiate. The wedding needn't take place in a mosque, and any Muslim who understands Islamic tradition can officiate. However, many mosques have marriage officers, called qazi or madhun, who can oversee any marriages held there and confirm appropriate civil documents.

  • If either you or your mate isn't Muslim, consult your mosque about intermarriage and possible conversion. Because Islam is a patrilineal religion (passed down through the father), a Muslim man may marry a non-Muslim woman of another monotheistic faith (such as Christianity or Judaism) without a conversion. However, a Muslim woman may not marry a non-Muslim man unless he converts to Islam.

  • If this is the second wedding for either of you, contact your mosque about remarriage requirements. While divorce and remarriage are allowed in Islam, you'll need legal documents proving the divorce is final, and there may be a three-month waiting period.


9-11 Months Before

  • Begin looking for vendors (caterer, photographer, henna artist, and musicians, for example) and make appointments to review their work. Decide if you want the wedding feast to be halal (following Islamic dietary requirements).

  • Meet with your officiate to discuss ceremony structure and marriage requirements. Talk about the different elements of Muslim weddings and decide what you want to include. Will you observe gender separation rules requiring men and women to remain separate during the ceremony and reception?

  • If the wedding will be held in a mosque, find out about dress requirements, such as removal of shoes and veiling for women.

  • Make arrangements if you plan to have any pre-wedding ceremonies held in a mosque, such as fatha, an engagement ritual that honors the to-be-weds' fathers.


6-8 Months Before

  • Discuss required marriage documents with your officiant. You'll need a Muslim wedding contract that includes a meher, a formal statement specifying the monetary amount the groom will give the bride. In addition, you may need a marriage license from your state or country.

  • Consult your stationer about invitations, programs, and place cards. Programs will help your non-Muslim guests understand the rich history and symbolism of a Muslim wedding.


3-4 Months Before

  • Decide who will be part of the ceremony. You need two male witnesses to sign the marriage contract. If the wedding will be held in a mosque, you may need a wali (a male representative) to act on the bride's behalf during the ceremony.

  • Start planning prewedding celebrations -- many rituals serve to prepare and purify the to-be-weds and their families.


3-4 Weeks Before

  • Have a final meeting with your officiant.

  • Finalize vows (if you have any), readings, and special ceremony details.

  • Make sure each participant in the ceremony understands what's involved.


1-2 Weeks Before

  • Touch base with your officiant.

  • Enjoy prewedding celebrations such as henna parties, turmeric ceremonies, and ritual baths.


Day Before

  • Entrust all the ritual elements to someone very reliable: the marriage contract and pen for signing; the rings; the flower garlands; and an egg for stomping.
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Wednesday 8 January 2014

Fabulously planned… Remembered always.




Welcome my dear friends or whoever that is passing by my blog, I would like to wish you guys a Happy New Year.....:)

Just for your info...my multiply website is closed due 
to server shutdown so im here again contructing this blog from scratch again. But i assure , this has way better infrastructure from the previous website.

Feel free to browse my blog and im sorry i could only manage to upload some samples of my previous assignments as there are just too many of them..:) thanks to my valuable customers, family and friends. For any inquiry or quotations please do contact me here.


For those who are in mobile version please click the web version at the home page for the full version of this blog . Thank you. 
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